The NFL season is back which means there are countless numbers of NFL widows living their Sunday afternoons without their husbands for the next 4-5 months. Sorry ladies, but that's just the way God wired us. You wanted a real man, and a real man loves football. NFL football. Let me summarize the benefits of being a Sunday widow . You will appreciate it.
- You have security as you know where your husband is on game day. He'll be watching Cam Wake make Sunday afternoons a nightmare for opposing quarterbacks and offensive tackles.
- You now have 3-6 hours to go to the spa, go shopping, see your friends without having him nagging around with you.
- You can support the Dolphins and take some interest in the game. I know that you have a ballet or theatre production you want him to take you to the other 7 months of the year.
- During the game he won't hear anything you have to say as he is focused on watching Tannehill hitting Wallace deep in the end zone for an amazing touchdown. That's your time to request something from him that he won't realize he is saying"yes" to.
- While he is watching the game, this is a great chance to try something new. How about working out on that stripper pole that he set up in the bedroom for you. All he does is give, give, give.
- You will be surprised to know that 40% of all NFL fans are women.The very intelligent NFL lladies are Dolphins fans. Join the winning team!
- You can look very fashionable in women's NFL clothing. The NFL is all about making money, so, you can believe they have a nice women's line of clothing to wear. Miami's colors are aqua, orange, navy, and white. BUT, you can get everything all in pink now. I hear that phinfever even sells a phinfever thong. No kidding.
- Sunday afternoon can be date day. Just suggest that you and he actually go to the Dolphins game and you shouldn't hear any excuses as to being too busy or tired to do so. Even better is the 2 hours before the game as tailgating has the aroma of grilled food.
- The season does come to an end. Just keep all this in mind: there are "16 games with one week off (called a “bye” week), followed by up to four playoff games for teams who make the cut. There’s usually another week off, then it’s the Super Bowl. But wait, there’s more: the Pro Bowl".
- Since I like you, let me recommend this article to get you started: "Women's Guide to Football Players on the Football Field ". There's nothing sexier than a wife or girlfriend that can say the following names, "Marino, Shula, Csonka, Tannehill, Cam Wake, Pouncey, Incognito, Grimes, Wallace, Fields" or actions words like, "sack, touchdown, fist pump (whoops, strike that one). Also, never EVER mention the names of "Olivadotti (the man who kept Danny from winning a Super Bowl ring), Sammy Smith (fumble), Wannstedt (couldn't coach his way out of a wet paper bag), JJ (the quitter), Saban (no class), Cameron (believes in drafting families), Sparano (fist pump), and Parcells (took the money and did nothing with it).
RICKY SMOKED WEED
Channing Crowder, looking to get his name mentioned again, said that Ricky Williams smoked marijuana the night before games .. especially during his Miami Dolphins record breaking year.
If that's the case, then I hope Lamar Miller burns a big fat one on Sunday morning.
Seriously though, what Ricky did before he turned his life around is ancient news. Ricky did a 180 with his life and we are always hearing positive news about how he is helping others. Maybe we should focus on that instead. Right, Crowder (who is old news and the same old Crowder)?
WHO WILL WIN ON SUNDAY
Of the 11 ESPN analysts, only 2 picked the Dolphins to win on Sunday: Jawarski and Joyner. That means the other 9 picked the Browns to win. Over at CBS Sports, all 8 of their analysts picked the Browns to win. Are they all serious??
The Dolphins have no where to go but to improve. Most of Irelands free agent additions will improve this team, and Ryan Tannehill is expected to take the next step forward. Some are saying he will take a huge leap in performance. Let's hope so.
On the Browns side of the balll, they were 3-1 in the preseason, so, we know that teams that win in the perseason will be just as good in the NFL season ... NOT. The Steelers and Falcons were a combined 0-8 in the preseason.
Also, keep in mind that of the Browns 53 man roster on week 1 that 27 of them are rookies and 1-2 year veterans. They have 9 undrafted rookies on that team. No kidding. And that's who ESPN analysts are picking to win on Sunday just because they are the home team?
Take my advice ... go with the Dolphins on this one. Unless you want to smoke what ESPN is smoking.
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